11 May 1994, 4.00 p.m., Rainy Day,
Sally told me today she got an offer to read law in Harvard. She was ecstatic. I am very happy for her too. But deep inside, I had a mixed feeling. I don’t know how to describe, but maybe the rain did it for me.
The rain cleanses the Earth, giving it the much needed respite to the heat. And yet, it wets the clothes and throw a spanner to people’s work.
I think, that is how I felt too. Very deep inside, I wanted to ask her to stay. To be with me here. But I knew I can’t. And so I suppressed my feeling, swallowed my words, and forced a grin.
Maybe she was too happy that she did not realize my feeling. And that is good too. I can’t let her know how I felt. I must be happy for her, for her to achieve what she had set out for, or she will be doubtful, and sad, that I am not there for her.
May God grant her the dream that she always had, my beloved baby.
29 May 1994, 6.oo p.m., Clear,
In another two weeks, Sally will be going to US. We went shopping for her needs. She is still ecstatic, while I had to suppress my feeling deeper.
Outside her house, I hugged her very tightly and long before letting go. I think she knew, for her face changed to one of nearing to tears. Had she been thinking too?
10 June 1994, 2.00 a.m., Cloudy,
Two days later, she will be going. We shared our last day together, for tomorrow belongs to her family. That night, she refused to go back, crying.
Baby, please don’t cry. The beautiful eyes of yours are not meant for crying. They should be the sparkle that will bring smile to millions of faces. They had brought innumerable smiles to my face and they will continue to.
Three years later, when you are back, we will be celebrating our love again. This goodbye will not be our last, though it will be long before we meet again.
You have to go, don’t worry about me. I will be waiting for you here. The place in my heart will always belongs to you, wherever you may be.
12 June 1994, 5.00 p.m., Windy,
She is gone. Sending her off at the airport, while suppressing my tears, my heart felt like it will have to collapse too. I can’t cry, or she will be, too. I can’t make it harder for her to go. But my eyes just won’t listen. Like an untamed waterfall, they flowed. And reluctantly, at the very last moment, I let her go, to her destiny and future.
I looked as her airplane took off, soaring the sky, and away from me, little by little. Sally is tore from me, bit by bit.
Take care, Sally. I will be waiting for you.
25 July 1994, 11.00 p.m., Sunny,
I got my Diploma in Interior Design with distinction. But sadly, Sally is not here to share this with me.
She did congratulate that night when we chat on the phone. We have chatted very little as international call is expensive. But for this occasion, I don’t mind paying a bit more.
12 August 1994, 3.00 a.m., Rainy,
Two months had past, and yet I can still hear her stifled sobs in the phone. It was hard, for both of us. We had been together since 15 and this is the first time we have not seen each other for so long
Me too, hid my tears. We both knew we were crying, but we chose not to trigger it, lest it became a full blown wailing. But every night, after talking to her, I can’t help but to cry my heart out on my pillow.
Creative Impulse is a nice place to work. Here, I am exposed to numerous high level works. Thanks to my mentor, Kevin, I can finally find a good footing to launch my career.
18 September 1996, 6.00 p.m., Windy,
I had been promoted to assistant chief designer!!!!!!
16 February 1998, 12.00 a.m., Rainy,
In another two months, Sally will be back. But she sounded like she is having a deep thought. Why?
15 March 1998, 1.30 a.m., Thunderstorm,
She told me, at last.
Sally got an offer from a big law firm, and she accepted it, without even telling me.
But I do not begrudge her, though she will not return now.
What should I do?
18 March 1998, 2.00 a.m., Cloudy,
I will have to let her go.
We both knew I can’t go to her. And we both knew, she wouldn’t be back. She knew I had a family to support, brothers and sisters to put through colleges. And I knew, her chance only come once. And she will not let it go.
We both knew this is the best.
But that had not stopped my tears. Nor hers.
19 March 1998, 1.30 a.m., Windy, very windy,
I resisted the urge to call, for this call will be the last goodbye. The last goodbye to our seven years of relationship. The last goodbye to the love in my heart.
Who can understand, the waves in me, that slammed again and again against the wall of my heart? Who can understand, the bond that is about to be severed? Who can tell me, how should I finally face this?
Who knew, how much I can’t let go? And who knew, no matter how many drops of blood dripping from my grip, I still have to let go?
And who understand, the upheavals I am feeling inside? No one, no one…I can only cry alone, in the darkness of the night.
The breeze punctured my skin, piercing through my heart. And out it spilled, all the memories inside. The days when we used to laugh together. The days when we used to cry together. The days we used to just hold hands, and lie on the field, watching the time passed us by,
20 March 1998, 3.30 a.m., Dark and Cold,
She called, at last. I detest myself for not even having the courage to do so.
And so, it was a goodbye. A goodbye that we both knew is to come. A goodbye that we both knew it is necessary. A goodbye, to all goodbyes.
It was short, very short. But is still remember every words she said…
David, I know you knew what I am about to say..
I knew, please don’t say it yet…
I am so sorry, David…
It’s ok, baby, I know, I understand…But just let me have this little moment yet…
…………………………………
David…
No, wait….
I really can’t let go, baby….
David…
I said I know!!! Just let me have this little moment, while you still belong to me….
…………………………………..
Guess…I still….have to let you go…right?
Yea….I am sorry….
It’s ok….take care…
So do you….
And so, it ended, I guess….
* * * * * * *
Ten years had passed since that faithful night. David is now a celebrity interior designer. Well, the “celebrity” does not means he now goes on TV or anything like that, but rather, he is now very famous in this line. And obviously, he now got his own interior design firm, Davedo.
But fate does not have it that way. It follows that one day, David got a meeting with a client. This client seems to be a big shot, recommended by his mentor, Kevin, and demand that he himself to be the one who do the design for the renovation of his newly bought home.
And so, at that morning, and it has been a long time since David woke up in the morning, David came in with his normal working attire, which is a jeans paired with a seemingly business suit that has a back side shouting profanities. It shows attitude, was what David always said.
“Hello Veronce”
“Good morning, David, and unfortunately, you are late again and your Mr. Lee is waiting in the Conference Room 5,” Veronce, his secretary said nonchalantly.
“Shit” was the only response.
He ran the length of his firm, which was nestled in an old neighborhood of Petaling Jaya. His office was converted from a colonial era house facing the main road. Nowaday, nobody stay in this kind of houses as they will be eating dust everyday. But with the strategic and mature location, they are converted into business centre, with boutique and bridal became the main staple.
After a few “good morning David” (he does not allow his workers call him by his last name), he finally reached the conference room. True to his style, the room was simple yet pleasant. He insisted on fresh flowers (his favorite would be tulips) be replaced everyday. There is only a small table and four chairs, the kind that normally found in café. On the tiny soft pink wall, hung an abstract painting by David himself, but anyone who sees it said they saw an indiscrimate splash of paints.
“The painting is so sad, as though he pour his complicate mixed feeling into it,” he heard a woman saying. Just why was the voice so familiar?
He knocked the door, and went in, “Sorry I am late, my previous appointment dragged on too long,” rehearsing his tried and tested excuse flawlessly.
The man and the woman turn. And he stood there stunned.
“It’s ok. You must be the famed David. I am Lee and this is my fiancée Sally,” said Mr. Lee.
It might have been a few years had just passed him by. But no, barely 3 seconds, he recovered and shook hand with both of them, “My pleasure.”
Sally took a longer time to recover, but she did, shaking his hand and managed a thin smile. The one of discomfort that David knew only too well.
“I heard from Kevin that you are the best here”
Pulling his eyes away from the woman no longer his, he turn to address Mr. Lee, “He is only joking, don’t trust him,” he managed with a smile.
Mr. Lee chuckled and brought out his house floor plan. “I don’t waste time on small talk, hope you can understand, but this is my house and I need to renovate it just in time for our wedding in July,” he said, while giving Sally’s hand a squeeze.
* * * * * * * *
Sally reached the marble door steps of the firm that she visited earlier, the one that her new love seek out her old love to renovate their new love nest. She hesitated but pressed the ring still. It was already 9 p.m. but somehow, she knew, David is there.
“Err…you?”
“Hi, is it too late?”
“No, not at all, please come in..”
Sat in his office, she looked around, while he went to bring some coffees. Pictures of David winning numerous awards and his artworks donning the wall. But what struck her the most was the photo frame on the desk. The first picture they took together, hugging and laughing, with the sandy Redang beach as background, taken some 15 years ago. She whisked the photo into her arm, looking dreamily. Those were the happier days, when love is so innocent, as it is pure. And her tears starting to fall.
David suddenly appeared at the door, with the coffees..
“Are you…”
Before he can finish, she rushed out of the office and like the gushing wind, gone from his sight…
* * * * * * * *
“Ma’am, a letter for you,”
“Thank you,” Sally took the letter.
“Dear Sally,
Silly girl, why do you cry? You are getting married soon, you should be happy. I will be happy for you too.
David”
Sigh…She only knew him too well……
THE END
4 comments:
Hi! I definitely enjoyed reading it. Good luck on your following works!
Thank you, er, canvas!!!!!
sad ending but i like it tho..
can't wait for more!!
Honest comment? Will be better if complied as a short story on paper bag. Not bad though.
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